Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Playing The Waiting Game

This adoption it is a true test of patience for both of us. From time to time it becomes harder than anything else we have experienced. The days squeak by. To put this in perspective for those who have never adopted, think of a time in your life when you waited anxiously for an event to occur. Now, remember the day before it happened? How long that day was? Multiply that feeling by 200 or more. That is how it feels. Today is day 212 since beginning this journey. We knew it would be a long one but even though the expectation was set, it does not make things any easier. With the future of the MOU in question, time is critical for us and other PAPs (prospective adoptive parents). What will happen? Nobody knows. It is our hope that the Vietnamese government will allow those with dossiers in country to continue down the path and complete the ultimate blessing of having a child of our own. But that is not 100%. Some sources have stated that those PAPs who have a referral prior to 9/1/08 will be allowed to complete their process, and those without will have to stop until (if and when) a new agreement is ironed out. To clarify, it is NOT the United States that has to have this agreement. It is the VN government. So for now, as we move into Spring, and the days advance toward the looming deadline, the wait seems to increase, anxiety increases and the thought of the future becomes less and less clear. While we remain positive that in the end this will work out for us, there are still feelings of uncertainty. Unlike other families that are working with Holt, we do not have the option of going down the road of a "fall-back" country if God forbid, VN closes its doors for adoption. Health requirements from other countries are very strict. Some PAPs are in the same boat as use. Not as major as a cancer history but something like diabetes prevents them from looking at other countries. So, what is next? When will we know firmly if we get to move forward? I think Holt is looking out for their families, thus the urgency to get our dossier in FIRST and as quickly as possible. It is my belief that there will be a change in the "line" for referrals now too, towards our advantage. I believe that the agency will next take the those with dossiers in process and place them in line for referral based off of the order their dossiers were received. It would seem to be the only logical way in my mind. To make this a tad clearer, lets say we were #36 for referral BEFORE the dossier process changed. We were told to send in our dossier NOW versus waiting for a referral THEN doing the dossier. With the way it is now, what happens if a PAP who was in front of us before the process change took longer to compile their dossier materials, say 1-2 months as opposed to us taking 1 week. Should that delay our referral? I would tend to think not. So after all is said and done I have a feeling we will be in a good spot to have a referral by 9/1/08. Of course all speculation.

~Hank

1 comment:

Mom said...

Hen,
You and Tricia have been remarkable in guiding "US" through your adoption process. Your optimistic approach helps everyone, especially this grandmother "in waiting" for my #7.
Patience is not one of my virtues.

I am so very proud of you, as I always have been for 35 years!

XXXOOO